Vaginal Irritation

by Rosemary Amey, July 1, 2001

Jen and I went to see the Vagina Monologues this past week (too expensive even at half price, oh well.) I found it ironic that this work, intended to create awareness about women's bodies, should perpetuate the misinformed ideas our culture has about women's genitals, namely:

1. "Vagina" is the correct term for the external female genitals.
2. The vagina is the most important part of a woman's sexual anatomy.

Aaaaaaaarrrgh!

The first point is a pet peeve of mine. It seems to be standard practice in our culture to teach children that boys have a penis, girls have a vagina (as though they are equivalent) and that "vagina" means everything between a girl's legs.

This has always seemed weird to me--my parents, being scientifically literate, always used the correct term, vulva, for the external genitals. But this is more than just linguistic quibbling. How is any woman supposed to have a decent sex life if she (and her lovers) don't even know the difference between the vulva (and all of its parts) and the vagina (an internal organ)? (I know, a woman isn't supposed to know "too much" about sex, she is supposed to find a man who will psychically know just how to please her. Yeah, right!)

The second idea, that the vagina is the most important part of a woman's sexual anatomy, is the cause of much needless angst for women and their sexual partners. Recently, Cosmo magazine ran an article on how to have an orgasm during intercourse, for the benefit of the 70% of women who do not. Hello! The reason most women don't come during intercourse is because the key nerve endings are not in the vagina, they are in the clitoris!

Not only does this whole "Insert tab A in slot B" approach to sex lessen women's enjoyment, it perpetuates the ideas that

1. Sex is primarily for procreation.
2. Sex is primarily for male pleasure (since sex is defined as penis in vagina intercourse, ending with the male orgasm, and anything else is a bonus).

So 70% of women needlessly wonder what is "wrong" with them (nothing!), and (assuming they don't fake orgasms) their male lovers wonder what is wrong with their technique, or if maybe they should waste money on the latest penis enlargement scam (I get a few of these in my email every day).

Sigh.

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